Saturday, 21 February 2015

How to Stop Worrying.


It starts with a nagging thought.

That creates another few thoughts

And before you know it. there is a storm brewing in your mind, making you think irrationally.

BOOM! Your old friend is back.

Some one said to me yesterday "Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow" and do you know what? it actually does! When people reel an endless list of quotes to me to try and make me feel better, I ignore them, normally because I've heard them all a million times. You know the ones I'm taking about? "The grass is always greener on the other side" "Never Regret anything that makes you smile"...yeh I suppose a lot of them are true, but are they really? To some extent I suppose,

BUT, and this is a big but... I've got so much to look forward too that, although it comes with worry- is over balanced with excitement. I'll tell you about that in another post, along with pictures and possibly videos... talking of videos, shall I start vlogging? mmm...

Anyway, back to what I was actually talking about. Forever and always getting distracted! Being a worrier, probably since the beginning of my teenage years, I've learnt of ways to combat and avoid inheriting an insane sense of worry.

Remember...Most things you worry about have never actually happened
I have a lot of trouble in my life, most of which has never happened. So... when you feel worries starting to pop up ask yourself this: How many of the things I feared actually happened?
If you're anything like me, then the answer would be very few, and those very few that did happen were mostly not as terrible as you'd expected.

Don't try and guess what is on someone's mind. 
Trying to read someone minds, usually doesn't work out too well for you. Instead, it can very, very easily lead to creating an over exaggerated scenario in your head.

Remember, people don't think about you as much as much as you think they do. 
Often worry is centred around what you think other people are thinking about you. Although there's is a lot of judgement in this world, the sooner you start to care less about what people think... the less worry you'll have
Right, before I ramble on and this blog turns into an advice blog and I suddenly become an agony aunt (well actually uncle, but aunt sounds better haha). I'm going to quit this post.

Monday, 16 February 2015

Fifty Shades of Beige?

I went and saw fifty shades of grey so you don’t have to.

Right then, before you make an initial judgement as to whether I liked this movie or not… unlike many of the people who watched it. I did. Should I be embarrassed to admit that? Probably, but I did enjoy it. The aura and obsession surrounding the books was the sole factor on my decision to unwillingly surrender a small fortune on purchasing a ticket. I say small fortune because the price difference between standard and student refrained from noteworthy discount. Anyway, the movie…Did I run out the cinema, craving an exploration into BDSM? No. Did I want too? Umm I’m going to say no. Did I love the film? Not really. Did I want to see it again? Well… I kinda, sorta, definitely did… but any more than twice? Not unless I actively wanted to buy an overpriced ticket which promotes boredom.

Fifty Shades the movie has emerged as a kind of fan-fiction of Fifty Shades the book, and the leap from page to screen didn’t perhaps promises the explicit, exciting nature everybody expected. I think this is where a reader’s imagination provides more excitement than the restrictions of cinematography. Although most of the novels fixation with style and wealth… or the barrage of stuff that wealth can buy, is carried onto the screen. Where the money shots should be, we get shots of what money can actually provide. Christian the novels protagonist wows Ana with rides, first in this thunderous chopper, then this smooth white glider and finally, his collection of countless cars he claims are all his.  Providing me with more jealously than I’d expected and definitely a different kind of jealously than what I thought I’d obtain…

Fifty Shades of Grey was released just in time for Valentine’s Day, and perhaps that was the problem. The film’s heightened expectations provided a greater fall, particularly since the film is not just unromantic in nature but specifically anti-romantic.

And there you have it, a disappointment for so many. The film in its entirety, grey, but with good taste. Shade upon shade of muted naughtiness. It possessed a predictably witty but humour forced script. It’s almost as if the dull greyness this movie oozed seemed far too oppressive for contemporary viewing, and so an injection of ‘humour’ was paramount in providing the colour the erotica would presumably deliver to your cheeks, but didn’t…or a rose, I suppose that would be more apt. You get dirtier talk in most action movies, in a film that is bogged down with clumsy stereotypes, it’s lacking that final push of controversy… although I suppose within the limits of Hollywood you’ll hit a brick wall that resists anything too changing.

True, however Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) and Christina Grey (Jamie Dornan) provide noteworthy and commendable skill towards their portrayal of the highly anticipated characters. Dornan given the job of inspiring lust, fascination and maybe a tiny element of intimidation and fear has become a major factor in the disappointment of the film, according to critics. However, a book provides a platform where readers could project any customised masculine identity and apply it to their expectations - surely it’s over active imaginations that provide the greatest let down.

The sound track to Fifty Shades of Grey is actually amazing! Since watching the film, I've downloaded most of the songs that featured in it. 
Below, Beyonce - Haunted (featured in Fifty Shades of Grey) 

Thursday, 12 February 2015

Life as an over thinker

I read an article yesterday; and I'm obsessed because it couldn't describe me more accurately. I'll put the link at the bottom. It's regarding over-thinking... something I do all too regularly.
But who's too blame for this generation of over-thinkers? someone surely?
In the article it gave 14 things only Over-Thinkers will understand, so I've decided to compact the ones that I think apply to me the most.

When we say "we're sorry" we really, really mean it. 
If I feel like I've hurt or upset someone, regardless of if I've said 'sorry' 150 times, I will quite literally spend hours analysing the details of our fight. If you accept the apology or not, this worry will not be forgotten very easily.

Sleep is difficult (sometimes)
Laying with minimal distractions inevitably allows me to return to my racing thoughts.

We can't let things go easily. 
I'm convinced that by running over the details of a situation just once more will some how change the outcome (it won't)

We actually enjoy a break from our head
If someone takes me somewhere interesting/new/spontaneous anywhere that's a distraction, we appreciate it a lot- to the extent where I'll sound sarcastic about how much I'm enjoying it... when I probably am having 'the time of my life' .

Our friends don't seem to appreciate our over analytical mind. 
"you are over thinking this" "stop over thinking" are terms I hear all too often. Especially when we figure out what someone really meant.

As someone who over-thinks a lot, I found this article just as amusing as I did relieving to think it wasn't just me!

For the whole article the link is below; Enjoy!

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Blue Mondays

After day, another post… and although it’s only been two days since I started blogging I’m hooked; but…that’s probably because I have such an addictive personality though- as you know- fags, coffee etc, the list is endless.

“Today is the worst day of the week…Monday” a man announced to his wife on Monday morning. I won’t say I disagree with his statement, I provided him with a nod of agreement, because realistically who doesn’t hate Mondays? But, considering I was in a rush to Starbucks not even his attempt of conversation could amuse me.

There was no reason for me to be having a Blue Monday, but for some reason I was. Not even the strong pull of caffeine could lighten my day. Someone told me recently that I’ve always had a negative outlook on life, and I can’t really argue. It’s not a negative outlook in the sense I have high flying expectations, or even a negative outlook on myself. I’m not fretting about dry skin or vanity pounds. It’s an element of uneasiness with how I’m sailing through the world and what I don’t think I’m capable of.

If you don’t know what you truly want, nothing will satisfy you.

Right now, I have a stable personal life, can walk out my door and, in five minutes, be drinking Starbucks Coffee (always a bonus), I’m at university studying a degree I’m actually interested in. It’s not that I take these good things for granted, it’s just, my mind seems programmed of never giving itself a break and instead scans for negativity (Why am I at Uni when I could be earning money already?). I literally don’t know how to refrain from scanning all disapprovals instead of basking in appreciation.

BUT if and when you do have a ‘Blue Monday’ distract yourself, I do. Go for a walk, run, swim, cook, clean…ANYTHING; do something productive and you’ll already feel one hundred times better.

Monday, 9 February 2015

My Motivation for 2015

It’s officially 42 days into a brand spanking new year- and what once absolutely terrified me about the New Year died down ever so slightly as I somehow managed to inherit positive vibes about the upcoming year. I suppose the thing for me, to pass time is to have something to look forward to, and work towards that. That for me builds a positive attitude. I’m starting a new job as a barman on February 27th, I have Easter break on March 27th, my birthday of April 26th and then I finish my first year of university on June 1st, give yourself spread out things to look forward to and the parts in-between go quickly. I’ve been eating clean, reading, and actually doing some university work… I used to think New Year’s Resolutions were empty promises but this year I’ve actually stuck to mine.

Me being me, have never and will never be a fan of New Year Resolutions; But as you’ve probably guessed 2015, is the year that I jumped on the band wagon of attempting it. My attempt, nothing surprising… was to eat clean and get fit (probably to most common NYR ever). But, I’m actually doing it…still!

Ultimately, this year isn’t going to bring huge change for me. I won’t be graduating (yet), I won’t be getting a full-time job, I won’t be travelling the world. Unfortunately, I’m trapped in the confines of education for another 2 years before I branch into adult life. It saddens me, as it reminds me how little I have to be proud of, to tell people about, and to congratulate myself on. But, this year is about just that, perfecting the small things, like my diet and exercise, combating anxiety, changing my mind set and becoming a  more organised and self-assured person. Some days I’m literally the most anxious person, I’ll seclude myself and refrain from socialising but this year I’m going to at LEAST make that time productive, write a blog, do university work, apply for placements, do some exercise, rather than succumbing to anxiety and slump just because it seems easy.

Already though, despite this year not being a year of change, it already seems far more optimistic than previous years. Previous years I lived in a clueless bubble believing that I’ll never grow up, thinking some miracle would happen and I’d suddenly win the lottery. University has taught me that life is a competition it’s shown me that by working hard the rewards will eventually show. The people in class and lectures are ultimately are all going for the same job in the end, survival of the fittest I suppose. I need to keep telling myself that whenever I’m too scared to move forward, whenever I’m anxious about something, I need to push through it. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, and sadly if you remain seated in whatever you deem comfortable, how’re you going to get noticed? It’s easier said than done, and from someone who suffers from mild anxiety I believes it’s escaping that mental cage.

But, there’s ways to combat it. Since this year being the first year I’ve seriously abided to a NYR, I’ve seen how eating healthily makes itSO much better, both mentally and physically. Eating clean gives me a clean mind, and therefore I’m naturally more organised. Yeh, I still have those ‘I can’t be bothered to do anything days’ but who doesn’t?  

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Cornish Summers are the The Best

Okay, so I’ve diagnosed myself with heliophilia. Heliophilia is basically a strong desire to stay in sunlight…that I have! Although winter I think is so magical, it’s just so draining. I miss waking up and it being light, the sun brings so much energy out of me. But, when summer eventually arrives- I am one of those people that constantly complain about it being too hot; there’s honestly no pleasing me!
I’ve been meaning to write about my winter hatred for, oh, over a month now… but you know, busy-ness and uni work and excuses, excuses, excuses. But, today being a uniquely sunny but cold day it reminded me of my love of summer and the sun. There’s something about summer that makes me feel so young, which of course I am, but my teenage life is creeping to a close… quickly!  That’s another post for another day.
Although I work like a freaking dog in summer, there’s something about it that makes it feel like time slows up. Whether it’s the long evenings, the warm, bright nights, I don’t know but it’s feels good regardless. I blame my love of all things ‘sun’ purely because of my childhood living in Cornwall. I’ve only just recently started thinking ‘Rhys you’ve spent all your life living in a place people regard as an amazing holiday’. So thank you Cornwall for making my summers the best summers…ever! Cornwall is quite simply addictive, it’s like a drug, to my despise I had eventually quit because beneficially it isn’t providing what you need; queue University.
Summer for me, reignites so many memories. Some very positive highs, and very negative lows… but for the most part they were good, and of course they would be, It was summer! You see, winter, for me just becomes so oppressive and bleak. I struggle, massively (I’m not kidding) trying to get out of bed, I wake up all the time… feeling so unmotivated and drained- I rarely get that feeling from summer. I even sleep with my curtains open so I wake up to sunlight, it’s a good alarm clock… trust me! Summer just lights up everything (cringe). Talking about ‘lighting up’ summer was the first time I ever lit up a cigarette… at sixteen, and I got served… I literally felt like I’d just committed the biggest crime and was convinced I’d be arrested. For those of you who are wondering, that day was the downfall of the rest of my life, yes I still smoke, yes being a student it makes me very…very poor, and yes I would never recommend starting. Phew conscience cleared. Asides from smoking summer actually saw a lot of first time experiences; first time I drank, passing my driver’s test first time, first time I had a job and first time I lost my… naa we’re not going there
I suppose I’m reflecting on these memories because in reality I only have a few summers left until I venture into the world of adulthood. All my teenage life was spent telling my mum and friends repeatedly “I wish I was older”, as if no one heard me the first million and one times- and now I really am starting to grow older, I’m actually trying to resist it. The thought of adulthood is scary, those summer evenings I spent with my friends, huddled round our mini fire on the beach, barbeque, beers, and music cramped into several ridiculously small bags- those care free and naive days were a blessing and are beginning to expire. Childhood and my teenage years were the best, it’s a time where your dreams grow so big, your only worry is wondering what new, exciting adventure you’ll do tomorrow. Your imagination was so vivid, you could quite literally turn a small twig into a wand (I’m the Harry Potter generation), convince yourself the floor was actually lava, I miss those days. But…that’s the good thing about memories I suppose. One regret I do have though and I don’t have many, is quite literally hating myself because I never paused, not even for a second so I could truly appreciate the moment. They’re the moments I regret. When people used to say ‘your school years are the best years of your life’ I didn’t believe them, but now I do. Fortunately, it’s taught me to appreciate every moment, even going for coffee with my best friend… which, I do all too regularly. Coffee is my life.

So it’s always back to Cornwall in my mind… 


 I’ve been spending A LOT more time in coffee houses recently, mainly Starbucks, but that’s because it’s close. It got me thinking about coffee culture in general, and how so much is based around coffee… a chat, a date, business meeting etc. I drink coffee, probably too much so I decided I should probably write about it seeing as though I always talk about it.
My idea of morning without coffee is a distasteful thought. Morning commuters seem to fall into one of two categories: the caffeinated and the Un-caffeinated- the latter rarely ever being me, but when I do it’s easily recognisable. The caffeinated are bright-eyed and engaged and prepared for whatever their day decides to spontaneously thrust upon them- they manage to digest their morning papers, check emails, read for pleasure all with a croissant and coffee in hand; it just screams business savvy. They're sometimes armed and loaded with travel mugs of tumblrs from their coffee shop of choice- and when their ammunition has ran out…they reload, Starbucks is never far away. The rattle of ice from clear plastic beverage cups providing that long searched for relief on a summers days. They walk a little faster in the early hours of the morning, leaving last night’s issues and worries far, far behind.
This uplifting awakening is not the case of the un-caffeinated amongst us. They sleep through the AM commuter underground and the groggy walk to the office. There unfocussed and hazy eyes struggle to adjust, fully to morning sun. Materials they intended to review lay untouched in their laps whilst they battle to fight the resistance of that possible head whip when you close your eyes for just a second…and you’re gone. The un-caffeinated are easily recognisable, they’re the right side standers on the escalator from under to over ground. You see the irritable glare they produce when you hurry by them. They plod, they trudge, they linger. I know this because, I’ve done it. On the rare morning I forget my daily dispensary I subconsciously produce this inner envy and bitterness towards these manufactured morning people.
Though these only exist in my mind, coffee has become my companion. Who doesn't want a friend that wakes you up? Accompanies you, daily on your normally unpleasant journey to work. Coffee culture is universally recognised, it’s personal, accessible, and for me, inspirational. I say inspirational as I’m sat in Starbucks now, slurping on my black Americano, seamlessly writing this post. There’s something about any respectable coffee house that’s instantly reassuring. It feels like, well, home. The muted brown walls wedded with a gentle slur of humbling chit chat and ambient music is blissful. Friends, family, lovers and business men and women are peppered around the shop floor engaging in ‘easy’ conversation…I hope. I’ve just been caught staring at a couple… I couldn't think what else to write so started staring gormlessly at them… awkward.
I think my obsession with coffee stemmed from my frequent trips to America as child, where Starbucks is quite literally a religion. A Starbucks takeout cup is used, almost as an accessory, or so it seemed through my then adolescent eyes. I blame those daily exposures for my eagerness to replicate the suave, sophistication a simple coffee cup holds.
From then to now however, those impressionable days are thankfully long gone. My love of coffee, is now a reliance, and without it I’m not a very conversational person. Coffee and a cigarette (probably not the healthiest combination) can quite literally alter my mood instantly... God knows how but if I’m ever in a bad mood, you know what to do! Two coffees and a several cigarettes, I’m content.

So...Starbucks has sorta been my hub for the last few days. I spend too much time here, I consider coffee shops to be my second office/home, I use the space not just to to relax but, write emails, browse the internet, write a blog post, do university work, eat, and finally enjoy coffee- so... Starbucks is essentially a cheap office space, and one I'll continue to use.