Okay, so I’ve diagnosed myself with heliophilia. Heliophilia is basically a strong desire to stay in sunlight…that I have! Although winter I think is so magical, it’s just so draining. I miss waking up and it being light, the sun brings so much energy out of me. But, when summer eventually arrives- I am one of those people that constantly complain about it being too hot; there’s honestly no pleasing me!
I’ve been meaning to write about my winter hatred for, oh, over a month now… but you know, busy-ness and uni work and excuses, excuses, excuses. But, today being a uniquely sunny but cold day it reminded me of my love of summer and the sun. There’s something about summer that makes me feel so young, which of course I am, but my teenage life is creeping to a close… quickly! That’s another post for another day.
Although I work like a freaking dog in summer, there’s something about it that makes it feel like time slows up. Whether it’s the long evenings, the warm, bright nights, I don’t know but it’s feels good regardless. I blame my love of all things ‘sun’ purely because of my childhood living in Cornwall. I’ve only just recently started thinking ‘Rhys you’ve spent all your life living in a place people regard as an amazing holiday’. So thank you Cornwall for making my summers the best summers…ever! Cornwall is quite simply addictive, it’s like a drug, to my despise I had eventually quit because beneficially it isn’t providing what you need; queue University.
Summer for me, reignites so many memories. Some very positive highs, and very negative lows… but for the most part they were good, and of course they would be, It was summer! You see, winter, for me just becomes so oppressive and bleak. I struggle, massively (I’m not kidding) trying to get out of bed, I wake up
all the time… feeling so unmotivated and
drained- I rarely get that feeling from summer. I even sleep with my curtains
open so I wake up to sunlight, it’s a good alarm clock… trust me! Summer just
lights up everything (cringe). Talking about ‘lighting up’ summer was the first
time I ever lit up a cigarette… at sixteen, and I got served… I literally felt
like I’d just committed the biggest crime and was convinced I’d be arrested. For those of you who are wondering, that day
was the downfall of the rest of my life, yes I still smoke, yes being a student
it makes me very…very poor, and yes I would never recommend starting. Phew
conscience cleared. Asides from smoking summer actually saw a lot of first time
experiences; first time I drank, passing my driver’s test first time, first time I
had a job and first time I lost my… naa we’re not going there
I suppose I’m reflecting on these memories because in reality I only have a few summers left until I venture into the world of adulthood. All my teenage life was spent telling my mum and friends repeatedly “I wish I was older”, as if no one heard me the first million and one times- and now I really am starting to grow older, I’m actually trying to resist it. The thought of adulthood is scary, those summer evenings I spent with my friends, huddled round our mini fire on the beach, barbeque, beers, and music cramped into several ridiculously small bags- those care free and naive days were a blessing and are beginning to expire. Childhood and my teenage years were the best, it’s a time where your dreams grow so big, your only worry is wondering what new, exciting adventure you’ll do tomorrow. Your imagination was so vivid, you could quite literally turn a small twig into a wand (I’m the Harry Potter generation), convince yourself the floor was actually lava, I miss those days. But…that’s the good thing about memories I suppose. One regret I do have though and I don’t have many, is quite literally hating myself because I never paused, not even for a second so I could truly appreciate the moment. They’re the moments I regret. When people used to say ‘your school years are the best years of your life’ I didn’t believe them, but now I do. Fortunately, it’s taught me to appreciate every moment, even going for coffee with my best friend… which, I do all too regularly. Coffee is my life.
So it’s always back to Cornwall in my mind…